Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry’s invited Smithy ’round for explanation. Smithy didn’t do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry’s lost his rag. Reached out for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock. He’s then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now, that was seen as a pleasant way to go. Hence, Hatchet Harry is the man you pay if you owe.
[To Dog holding up a gun] Bend over the fucking desk!
This white shite thinks he can steal my cannabis and sell it back to me? He’s got less brains than you, Lenny! Get Nick, the greasy wop, shistos, pesevengi, gamouri Greek bastard, round here now, if he’s still stupid enough to be on this planet!
We’re gonna do a proper decoration job. I want the grey skies of London illuminated. I want that house painted red.
If you hold back anything i’ll kill ya. If you bend the truth, or I think you’re bending the truth i’ll kill ya. If you forget anything i’ll kill ya. In fact you are going to have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything i’ve said? [Nick nods head] Because if you don’t i’ll kill ya. Now, Mr. Bubble and Squeak, you may enlighten me.
No mortgages, no debts lock, stock, the fucking lot.
[Trying to stop his monitor switching off] Come on! Not now, please, not [monitor goes off] oh, you fucking bastard.
Hello boy, feeling a bit poorly? I know your friends are responsible for most of the cash, so I’m gonna give you one week to find it. Otherwise, I will take a finger of each of you and your friends’ hands for every day that passes without payment. And then, when you run out of digits, your dad’s bar, and who knows what then. All right, my son?
If you don’t want to be counting the fingers you haven’t got, I suggest you get those guns. Quick!
When you dance with the devil, you wait for the song to stop.
Barfly Jack: Rory? You don’t know Rory. He’s not to be underestimated. He’s a funny looking fucker, I know, but you’ve got to look past the hair and the cute, cuddly thing it’s all a deceptive facade. A few nights ago Rory’s Roger iron’s busted, so he’s gone down the battlecruiser to watch the end of the football game. No one’s watching the custard, so he switches the channel over. A fat geezer’s north opens, and he wanders up and turns the Liza over. “Now fuck off and watch it somewhere else!” Rory knows claret is imminent, but he doesn’t want to miss the end of the game. So, calm as a coma, he picks up a fire extinguisher, walks straight past the jam rolls who are ready for action, and plonks it outside the entrance. He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in the nuclear sub and switches back to his footer. “That’s fucking it,” says the geezer. “That’s fucking what?” says Rory. And he gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty. He flicks a flaming match into his bird’s nest and the geezer’s lit up like a leaking gas pipe. Rory, unfazed, turns back to his game. His team’s won, too: four nil.
Big Chris: It’s been emotional.
Big Chris: All right, son. Roll them guns up, count the money, and put your seat belt on!
Dog: Golf the best way to spoil a good walk. Winston Churchill said that. I say timberland uk it’s a dog eat dog world. And I got bigger teeth than you two.
Hatchet Harry: I don’t want to know who you use, as long as they’re not complete muppets. I suggest you take full advantage of that fact.
Winston: Charles, get the rifle out. We’re being fucked!
Bacon: Right. Let’s sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy, and those who trust me from the ones who don’t. Because if you can’t see value here today, you’re not up here shopping, you’re up here shoplifting. You see these goods? Never seen daylight, moonlight, Israelite; Fann timberland uk y by the gaslight. Take a bag, come mon, take a bag. I took a bag home last night. Cost me a lot more than ten pound, I can tell you. Anyone like jewellery? Look at that one there. Handmade in Italy, hand stolen in Stepney. It’s as long as my arm; I wish it was as long as something else. Don’t think because these boxes are sealed up, they’re empty. The only man who sells empty boxes is the undertaker, and by the look of some of you lot today, I’d make more money with me measuring tape. Here, one price. Ten pound.
Eddie: Did you say ten pound? timberland uk
Bacon: Are you deaf?
Eddie: That’s a bargain. I’ll take one.
Bacon: Squeeze in if you can. Left leg, right leg, your body will follow. They call it walking. You want one as well, darling? You do? That’s it, they’re waking up! Treat the wife. Treat somebody else’s wife. It’s a lot more fun if you don’t get caught. Hold on. You want one as well? Okay, darling, show me a bit of life, then. It’s no good standing out there like one o’clock half struck. timberland uk Buy them, you better buy them. These are not stolen, they just haven’t been paid for, and we can’t get them again, they’ve changed the bloody locks. Here, one for you. It’s no good coming back later when I’ve sold out. “Too late, too late” will be the cry when the man with the bargains has passed you by. If you got no money on you now, you’ll be crying tears as big as October cabbages.