Storm in a Teacup
im scared. of the future that is. i’ve thought about it. i have but what, 3 years of schooling left. after which thrust into the unknown which is called the working world.
I’ve 3 years to get ready. And i realised that there isn’t much time left. Career wise, and even settling down for marriage? what? 3 years, to get ready for that? This is crazy, and im scared. I guess it’s time to grow up huh. The countdown has started.
And i’m scared. Sometimes all we have to hold on to is hope, that God provides. And sometimes that feels so woefully inadequate.
Things have been moving along slowly. In fact, it’s already the weekend and i still haven’t started on my lab report testifies to the fact that I’m slacking alot more now. Still don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing =/ I do know what I want though, i want to wake up earlier (this is going to be reallllllllly difficult to do.)
Also I’ve been meaning to study for the upcoming test on monday, but not studying is just so much easier. And yes Robb, let’s go study in the library someday. Also, we need to go jogging.
I had IPPT today, was better than I expected. Considering I expected to f timberlands ail, that’s not really that good i suppose. But i passed timberlands anyway, and not because of my 2.4, i pretty much outdid myself at 11:21, thought i would get > 12 since i havent ran in a year. Also i blame robyn. I was thinking to myself as i ran, if only i had gone jogging earlier. But then again i ended with a pretty good time, so im happy. Just that i missed SBJ by 4 cm. 100 bucks gone like that.
Anyway, i was cleaning up my old house and shifting a ton of stuff over. And I found oh so many things, like a trunk full of memories, I’m thinking i should take photos and store them digitally, post them on facebook and embarass. embarrass, everyone. Or so.
interesting thing ive discovered. that im learning so much more at church now. And even teaching kids, I’ve learnt more than I probably ever would. Like today, the theme was, God Helps Us.
And simple themes like these, the ever pessimist in me would say, there’s nothing to be learnt from it. These kids have grown up in christian homes, they know all these stuff by heart, whats there to know.
And the ever patient God sweetly replies, theres so much more to know. Like how ive been struggling, so much school work, tests, assignments, reports, cca activities, church commitments, so much so that ive got every little bit of time crammed up with business. So much so that I can neve find time for God. And I always reason it out, when this sem is over, ill make it up to you. But the future is later, God wants me now.
And i havent been asking for his help at all. not in my work, not in my assignments or tests or reports. My God just isnt the God of my school life. And thats just sad. Oh my God. How can I complain?
And with this, things have begun to move slowly. gradually im starting to give up more things. Giving them back up to God.
well the past week has been hectic. The past p timberlands ast week was actually the hectic one, but this week is the aftermath hecticness. Since all the lab reports spill over to this week. Can’t wait for everything to end, but it’s not going to be soon
I wish I had time to think. I want to learn piano. I want to start writing! argh.
But reflecting on life has been insightful. I now have a rough semblance of what I want to go into, a rough outlook on how science can be meaningful. Perhaps after honours, I’ll go for masters OVERSEAS. Hopefully in a snowy country with polar bears. And then my plan is to go into RnD, timberlands perhaps with pharmaceuticals? It’s all looking interesting now.
so i admit i havent been posting much of anything. the last year was a hodgepodge of nonposts and random assortment of junk.
But i’ve decided to return from hiatus hopefully. And start posting more often. Hopefully at least once a week at that.
Well, my last week wasn’t so good. It was the worst of times. When reservist hit. When church hit. When summer prog hit. Yeah just about everything all at once. And im supposed to be studying for my test at that. That ws a real bad struggle. But out of that God taught me a real good lesson. Contentment, and what satisfaction really is about. Not letting other define who you are and your experiences.